are kitty food, gravel and grape nuts the same thing?

i believe that the short one has lost the use of her legs. seriously, the woman has not left her lazy girl chair for nearly the past two days. normally i have to sit on her lap in order to keep her from getting up and leaving me. but not so anymore, in fact i have taken several walks, finished the latest harry potter novel AND went to the bathroom only to find that she still sat in the same place, with a wire leading from her hands to the moving box in the corner. sad really, she was a good pet, but i fear i may have to put her down.

speaking of putting down the humans, ...the fat one tried to tell me that i didn't NEED any more food or water, to which i informed him that he didn't NEED to live any longer













needless to say, i got both food AND water. fresh cold water.

i must go, i hear one of them meandering down the hall and they will be here any moment, unless they stop at the cooling box to stuff their faces. if you ask me, I should be the one eating at my leisure, and THEY should be the ones on a portion controled diet of water and burnt popcorn kerrnels. or whatever this crap is in my dish.

i mean seriously, would it be so hard to add a little gravy to this garbage?! or maybe even try one of those fresh, soft kitty meals i see advertised on the moving box. hmmm? whadd'ya say? naaawww, i didn't think so ya cheap bastards. stick with the 50 lbs of rock salt for $3, i just looooooove that.

damn! they are here i must go, viva la kitty-lution !!!!