Monday, June 18, 2007
Saturday, June 09, 2007
I'm told I'm a good sport...but a horrible neighbor
friday night. this was my prisoner.
this is how I felt about the prisoner.
the humans aren't quite sure how she got here, but she will pay. this is my house, and I do not say neighborly things like "mi casa su casa." no way, jose.
but first, I have some questions.
what is your name?
what is your quest?
what is the average air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
rabbit? what rabbit? i don't see a rabbit. what's a rabbit?
when the humans came home, they took these away from me, scolding me about some stupid geneva convention.
i don't do conventions.
cruel and unusual?
perhaps.
said prisoner rested comfortably in the refuse room. the bald one brought her out, probably for a tour -- he can be so hoSPITable. we had words. practiced our snake impersonations. I did restrain myself, though -- and my claws, since she's pretty defenseless except for some trimmed (ha!) hind claws. she may not even be a real cat...no claws...what kind of human-informed nonsense is that?! she wasn't much of a threat.
but I will say this (and the humans bear witness) SHE STARTED IT.
the humans meanwhile discovered where the vagabond came from, and have returned her to her rightful owner. i was under the bed when the actual exchange took place, but it sounded like it went well.
for me it was a tense weekend...i'm glad it's over, and my house is back to normal. silly humans...this is my house. and where are my tools of pain?!
this is how I felt about the prisoner.
the humans aren't quite sure how she got here, but she will pay. this is my house, and I do not say neighborly things like "mi casa su casa." no way, jose.
but first, I have some questions.
what is your name?
what is your quest?
what is the average air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
rabbit? what rabbit? i don't see a rabbit. what's a rabbit?
when the humans came home, they took these away from me, scolding me about some stupid geneva convention.
i don't do conventions.
cruel and unusual?
perhaps.
said prisoner rested comfortably in the refuse room. the bald one brought her out, probably for a tour -- he can be so hoSPITable. we had words. practiced our snake impersonations. I did restrain myself, though -- and my claws, since she's pretty defenseless except for some trimmed (ha!) hind claws. she may not even be a real cat...no claws...what kind of human-informed nonsense is that?! she wasn't much of a threat.
but I will say this (and the humans bear witness) SHE STARTED IT.
the humans meanwhile discovered where the vagabond came from, and have returned her to her rightful owner. i was under the bed when the actual exchange took place, but it sounded like it went well.
for me it was a tense weekend...i'm glad it's over, and my house is back to normal. silly humans...this is my house. and where are my tools of pain?!
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
the kitty doldrums
this is why I haven't posted anything lately. I'm so bored. a little depressed. I try to talk to my humans and they just smile and laugh... and no one really pays any attention to me. the huge green frog silently mocks me. at least the humans have been leaving the blinds open so I can see outside... not that I can ever GO outside.in fact, just yesterday the short-hair stepped on my tail. it hurt.
this is the aftermath:
what's weird is that when they came home later that night, and discovered this monstrous act, the short-hair gathered it up and PUT IT IN A BOX.
WHAT IS THAT ABOUT?!
morris, help me.
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