chris-miss

i've never figured out why, once a year, my humans display a false tree and put color all over it. now there are strangely decorated boxes and shapes underneath it. in my investigations i've discovered that the silvery strands are quite tasty, but i get yelled at when "they" see me doing it. don't worry, i eat my share in secret.

i've heard reference made to "chris-miss", though i can't quite figure out what he's missing. the best i can figure is the short-haired-human took some of his things, have hidden them underneath this poky tree and eventually she'll let him have his stuff back. now that makes sense. i could get into that. maybe i'll put my own contribution under the tree later. i'm not sure how much time i have, though.

the bald-one keeps checking out the window for snow, so maybe once there's snow he'll get his stuff back. this also makes sense.

in the meantime i will continue my diet of "tinsel" (that word was hollered when i was caught chewing on it, so maybe that's what they call it...either that or it's a not-nice word directed at me...i hope that's the name of the silver stuff)


more on this chris-miss event later.

super secret piscin

contemplation

do i look fat to you?



















the third human showed up the other day. i had almost forgotten all about her. i didn't realize that i missed her being around. when the other humans were gone, it was just nice to know that i wasn't alone. even if all she ever did do was sleep. i tried to tell her as much, but she just laughed at me. crazy human. i'm guessing i'll probably still see her every once in awhile anyway. it still creeps me out, though, how much she and the short human sound alike.







and no, she didn't have anything exciting hidden in her golden bag.
i checked.










the highlight of my days now are to break the rules without my humans knowing about it. it's my own private revenge and source of satisfaction. ha! gone are the days when they would hose me down from the kitchen sink and then punish me by putting me in the shaking-white-box room that gets really hot like a sauna. no more torture for me! i have them hoodwinked, that's for sure. some of my adventures might be at an end, though, for i've been discovered.

this evening while they were minding their own business, i decided to do the most daring thing i could do. no guts, no meow mix; right? and then the short one appears and i barely have enough time to jump down and act as if nothing had happened. talk about getting the adrenaline pumping! i think my grunt as i hit the floor might have given me away, because she's been using her scolding tone of voice all night. and THEN the hairy one discovered evidence -- some of my fur, undeniably -- on the counter. sufferin' succotash! so careless of me.


apparently my punishment was to be subjected to blinding flashes of light while being held in awkward positions. i don't understand it, but it certainly wasn't pleasant. i saw spots for hours. i wish they would just look directly at the sun.

day 10

ten days ago my world turned upside down. things started disappearing from the domicile. then i was locked in an empty room with only my food and water dishes (oh, and the portapooper, thank you very much) to keep me company. i heard voices, doors being opened and closed, and lots of things moving, footsteps going up and down the stairs. and i smelled bagels. i'm sure of it.

a few hours later my humans entered the room and proceeded to remove ME from the place i had learned to call home. i was taken...

*gasp*

...outside.

i've still not fully recovered from the experience, but i was only out-of-door for mere minutes (though it certainly felt like years at the time). in essence, my humans transplanted me to a different, stranger, smaller (though similarly colored) home-like compartment. most of my favorite things are here also (except for the sofa...it's a mystery what really happened to it) and now the ground is a lot closer when i peer out the windows of my new cell. there is a bright spot to my captivity, and that is the VERY wide, VERY comfortable window sill in the humans sleeping area. and whether it's coincidence or fate or luck, i can actually reach the sill from my fuzzy carpet tower. it's brilliant and allows me some small comfort, if not hope.

i haven't seen near as many birds as i used to, but it is getting cold outside and i've noticed that their presence greatly diminishes once the ground turns white. i did see a hop-floppy the other night, and soon after a demon bird that can turn it's head completely around without killing itself. thankfully my captors arrived a few minutes later and the demon bird flew away. talk about your creepy animal kingdom. *shudder*

there is also the suspicious disappearance of the third human that i haven't quite figured out. i might have been seeing things, but i swear she was here for a couple hours last week. the short human actually conversed with her and they watched the moving box together, so i'm sure she was really here. i gave her a talking to, but i don't think she took me seriously. annoying human. she was my favorite.

it's been a little trickier to get to the computer to update my blog since the computers are in the same room now. oh well, i just hope my faithful minions will be patient.