contemplation

do i look fat to you?



















the third human showed up the other day. i had almost forgotten all about her. i didn't realize that i missed her being around. when the other humans were gone, it was just nice to know that i wasn't alone. even if all she ever did do was sleep. i tried to tell her as much, but she just laughed at me. crazy human. i'm guessing i'll probably still see her every once in awhile anyway. it still creeps me out, though, how much she and the short human sound alike.







and no, she didn't have anything exciting hidden in her golden bag.
i checked.










the highlight of my days now are to break the rules without my humans knowing about it. it's my own private revenge and source of satisfaction. ha! gone are the days when they would hose me down from the kitchen sink and then punish me by putting me in the shaking-white-box room that gets really hot like a sauna. no more torture for me! i have them hoodwinked, that's for sure. some of my adventures might be at an end, though, for i've been discovered.

this evening while they were minding their own business, i decided to do the most daring thing i could do. no guts, no meow mix; right? and then the short one appears and i barely have enough time to jump down and act as if nothing had happened. talk about getting the adrenaline pumping! i think my grunt as i hit the floor might have given me away, because she's been using her scolding tone of voice all night. and THEN the hairy one discovered evidence -- some of my fur, undeniably -- on the counter. sufferin' succotash! so careless of me.


apparently my punishment was to be subjected to blinding flashes of light while being held in awkward positions. i don't understand it, but it certainly wasn't pleasant. i saw spots for hours. i wish they would just look directly at the sun.